Family Access a program of the Parent Resource Center

Books

The Family Access Program has its own Resource Library. Below is a sample of the items available, some with a link to read reviews, sample, and purchase the book for your own use:

Divorce & Separation

: Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way; by M. Gary Neuman

This warm, empathetic guide shows you:

How to build a co-parenting relationship - even when you think you can't
When you or your child should see a therapist
Age-appropriate scripts for addressing sensitive issues
What to do when a parent moves away
How to stop fighting with your ex-spouse
How to navigate the emotional turmoil of custody and visitation
How to help your child deal with change
How to cope with kids' common fears about separation
How to introduce significant others into the family and help your child cope with a new stepfamily

: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Revised Edition; by Abigail Trafford

There is nothing easy about the breakup of a marriage, from coping with loss and failure to dealing with the uncertainly of the future. Abigail Trafford charts this emotional journey, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce, and eventually to a new life. Based upon her personal experience, extensive research, and interviews with hundreds of divorced men and women. Trafford offers individuals a better understanding of their own experiences and the message that they are not alone in their pain and confusion. Crazy Time is also an investment in the future - Trafford reveals the telltale signs of a marriage in crisis, and discusses what determines whether a relationship will survive over time.

: Visitation Handbook (Legal Survival Guides); by Brette McWhorter Sember

This manual is a complete guidebook for helping both parents learn to live with the changes visitation brings to their lives after a divorce and offers a unique perspective with its back-to-back format. One half of the book is written especially for the custodial parent and talks about how to deal with problems of a child having two parents in two homes with two sets of rules. The other half of the book addresses the non-custodial parent and deals with what to do during visitation, long-distance visitation, communicating with the other parent, coping with scheduling and helping the child adjust.

The book contains appendices with various resources, including parenting organizations, publication resources, related websites and sample visitation plans schedules.

: Caught in the Middle: Protecting the Children of High-Conflict Divorce; by Carla B. Garrity & Mitchell A. Baris

This book is designed to help parents and the professionals who work with them arrive at solutions to stressful situations that will enable the children of divorce to grow into emotionally healthy adults. Interparental conflict affects children at all ages, but the authors contend, children under five are especially vulnerable, while older children more often join in the conflict by taking sides. The authors' remediation model for containing, regulating and resolving anger is presented for use by attorneys, mental health professionals and divorced parents to shape an effective co-parenting plan that does not make pawns of children.

: For the Sake of the Children How to Share Your Children with Your Ex-Spouse in Spite of Your Anger; by Kris Kline

This is a study to prevent needless child suffering after divorce. The anger and resentment that accompany divorce do not dissolve when the papers are signed; oftentimes bitterness lingers on for years. Unfortunately this can cause tremendous harm to the children, who still love both parents. In this wise and practical book, the authors offer effective ways to break the pattern of behavior that leads to further pain. More important, this book teaches parents how to ensure the emotional well-being of their children while maintaining their own sense of dignity and respect.

: Unmarried Parents' Rights (and Responsibilties); by Jacqueline D. Stanley

Unmarried Parents Rights (and Responsibilities) contains detailed information on the issues single parents and divorced parents face. It provides a step-by-step guide to taking legal action. This book helps you take control of situations and provide for your children in the best possible way.

Find valuable shortcuts to get to the heart of your matter. Look for:

Tip boxes on how courts determine custody, visitation time and child support
Extensive references to websites, organizations and agencies that can be contacted for information and assistance
Sample legal forms to speed you through the court process

Co-Parenting

: The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict after a Difficult Divorce; by Elizabeth Thayer Ph.D. & Jeffrey Zimmerman Ph.D.

This book helps parents in the aftermath of divorce learn to sustain a healthy co-parenting relationship. "Conflict and Parenting" explores parental conflict and its effects on children, conflict resolution, and the importance of forging a co-parenting relationship. "Co-Parenting Guidelines" offers specifics for solving day-to-day problems, disciplining, and handling conflict during transitional times and special events.

: Child Custody: Building Agreements That Work (2nd ed); by Mimi E. Lyster

This workbook from Nolo Press is a thorough approach to a do-your-own child custody agreement. If there's any chance you can work together (and there's information about negotiation and mediation here, too) this book will help you avoid a costly and adversarial situation. At the very worst, the information and worksheets will help you define the problem areas--the areas you want the lawyer sharks to attack first.

: Families Apart Ten Keys to Successful Co-Parenting; by Melinda Blau

Divorce does not end a family, argues the author, who prefers the term "family apart" over the more common (and more negative) "broken home." Based on questionnaires and interviews with 112 adults and 34 children, this study suggests how families can successfully cope with divorce and create a new environment in which children can develop "normally"--and even thrive--by following these 10 commandments of co-parenting: heal yourself; act maturely; listen to your children; respect your ex as a parent; divide parenting time; acknowledge your differences; communicate; step out of gender roles; recognize and accept change; and know that co-parenting "is forever." The case histories of "families apart" will show readers that life after divorce need not be marked by continuing trauma.

: Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships; by Diane Vanghan

Children & Divorce

: Dinosaurs Divorce; by Marc Brown & Laurie Krasny Brown

Dinosaurs Divorce will help children understand:

Divorce words and what they mean
Why parents divorce
What about you?
After the Divorce
Living with One Parent
Visiting Your Parent
Having Two Homes
Celebrating Holidays and Special Occasions
Telling Your Friends
Meeting parents' New Friends
Living with Stepparents
Having stepsisters and stepbrothers

: It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce; by Vicki Lansky

PreSchool-Grade 2 KoKo Bear's parents are getting divorced, and the cub must go through many adjustments and deal with a wide range of emotions: anger, guilt, confusion, and sadness. At every step, MaMa and PaPa are helpful, understanding, and supportive. In fact, Lansky's introduction for parents notes that adults might think they "are unrealistically polite and even-tempered." However, this is a book with a purpose, and as such, plot and character take a backseat to the message. Below each block of text are comments and suggestions for adults to deal with issues raised by that section of the story.

: Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story For Little Kids About Divorce; by Sandra Levins & Bryan Langdo

A picturebook story explaining the concept of divorce and joint custody to young children ages 2 to 6. Offering insight into divorce and growing up through in a thoroughly "kid friendly" story of two young brothers whose mother and father are divorced, Was It The Chocolate Pudding? follows a six-year-old and his little brother as they try to understand why their parents no longer live together and why the boys shuttle back and forth between them. A perfect vehicle by which a concerned parent can help their own child understand a divorce in their own family, thereby avoiding misunderstandings and self-blame on the part of a child trying to understand an adult process.

: Help! A Girl's Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies; by Nancy Holyoke & Scott Nash

Opens the doors for communication about divorce and provides awareness that divorce is reality to so many kids. Girls will appreciate, and perhaps be comforted by, the quotes and shared stories.

: The Not So Wicked Stepmother, A Book for Children and Adults; by Leslie Allgood Venable & Julie M. Harrison

Olivia & Maria are two young sisters who are coping with the recent divorce of their parents. Later, when their dad begins dating again, the sisters decide to make sure he's dating someone who is right for them too. When Dad does meet that someone, Olivia and Maria are happy. Then Dad announces his plan to remarry. Now the girls must cope with the experience of having a stepmother. Will she be like the wicked stepmother in the story, Cinderella?

: Two Homes; by Claire Masurel & Kady Macdonald Denton

Alex's parents are divorced, and he spends time with each of them. He has two rooms, two favorite chairs, two sets of friends, two of everything. He loves both of them no matter where he is, and they love him, no matter where they are. The ink, watercolor, and gouache illustrations are comforting and warm. There is no sign of the child missing one parent when he is with the other or questioning his situation, and he seems quite well adjusted. This book is clearly intended to help parents tell their children that they are still loved despite their living arrangements.

: Priscilla Twice; by Judith Caseley

This children's book looks at the issue of a family break-up through the eyes of a child, in this case, sweet but sardonic Priscilla. When the book begins, Priscilla's parents are still together, but she knows that trouble is brewing. A friend asks why her parents don't talk to one another and Priscilla responds, "It's quieter that way." After her parents separate, Priscilla spends her days between the two houses, feeling split apart yet needed as never before. The book, which features fine illustrations by the author, is a heart-tugging tale, but not sappy, and it could provide some children with the power to persevere.

Family Care Services

Books

Divorce & Separation

Co-Parenting

Children & Divorce

Domestic Violence

Custodial Parenting

Parenting

Step-Parenting